BASIC HIGHLIGHT INCORRECT WORD 7

Sometimes this is the case when you least expect it - not when something bad has happened, but when something extremely good has happened, but you nevertheless feel bad. Such as when you have just moved in with your partner, and instead of the loved-up life you were expecting, you are experiencing a panicked suffocation and intense hatred. Or, when, as I have seen with so many friends, and lived through myself, you have just had a much longed-for baby, and instead of the presumed joy, you are experiencing total exhaustion, periods of desolation, and terribly painful breasts. Or when you have just started university, or a new job, or therapy, or gone on holiday. At the very moment you thought you would be building a better life, instead you feel lost and as if life is falling apart. At moments like these, telling yourself that you should be happy and getting happier, or pretending to yourself that you are, is a kind lie. I know this because it is one I have told myself. It's a kind of gaslighting of yourself, to try to undermine your own instincts and convince yourself that your internal reality is what you want it to be, rather than what it is. The truth is that you feel disappointment, anger and despair. It is a gift to yourself to acknowledge this. This truth, about what we are really feeling, is the most nourishing, important and valuable thing we can offer ourselves, and it is the foundation from which a better life might grow.